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Chatter  General
Chat  Are you chicken?
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| Author | Topic: Are you chicken? |
| Louie Member |
 posted 06-08-99 12:48 PM 
This will be a funny thread(I hope). I want to hear all your answers to..... Why did the chicken cross the road? Here are one of mine. Bill Clinton: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens. L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out. Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. I will put some more up after a few replies. Enjoy! ------------------ |
| the
garbageman Member |
posted 06-08-99 02:32 PM
you're enjoying insanity a little TOO much louie......... ------------------ |
| Louie Member |
posted 06-08-99 02:35 PM
Lol! Not no more. They just kicked me out. ------------------ |
| Cory Member |
posted 06-08-99 02:42 PM
I got one. Why did BMason cross the road? [This message has been edited by Cory (edited 06-08-99).] |
| Louie Member |
posted 06-08-99 02:46 PM
I don't like where this is going. ------------------ |
| Cory Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:05 PM
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken hahaha. |
| Louie Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:11 PM
I don't see the humor in that. ------------------ |
| Cory Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:15 PM
Sorry Louie. I fixed it. |
| Louie Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:19 PM
You're a sick maniac. ------------------ |
| Cory Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:35 PM
But Louie, what about last night? I thought you loved me? |
| Bagman333 Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:40 PM
AHHH MY VIRGIN EYES!!! 
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| Louie Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:41 PM
Shut up Cory.
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| Cory Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:44 PM
You know I'm just joking with you Louie |
| Louie Member |
posted 06-08-99 03:48 PM
No, I don't. Anyway,
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| Agent_Orange Member |
posted 06-08-99 04:38 PM
Jesse Jackson (as would be portrayed by Daryll Hammond): Was in good taste to meander across yonder street? Indeed, had the chicken fortified his options and wavered to procrastinate, he would have commited...not aqquitted...I said commited not aquitted to transgress the road at an earlier date. Mike Tyson: Thoo thet thoo the thother thide. ------------------ |
| Mr
Bungle Member |
posted 06-08-99 04:54 PM
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. LOIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to tramp him and keep him down. FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... It transcended it. |
| Mr
Bungle Member |
posted 06-08-99 05:24 PM
But wait, there's more: ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road. MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability DARWIN: Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. RONALD REAGAN: I forget. |
| Mr
Bungle Member |
posted 06-08-99 05:56 PM
And finally: (Sorry about having to do this in three parts. I'm using Telnet and I can only post on the 10 lines given.) KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. JACK NICHOLSON: Because it f---ing wanted to. That's the f---ing reason. PLATO: For the greater good. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?" MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its marketing position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with an enterprise wide value framework across the continuum of poulty cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful. |
| JamSBK2 Member |
posted 06-08-99 06:09 PM
Ozzy Osborne: it didn't, i bloody bit it's head off Billy Madison: Well, it was crossing because that damned penguin was chasing it Homer Simpson: Heehee, it's funny cause it has chickens! Britney Spears: to get to the Shell station....wait...no.... Fiona Apple: chickens are depressing, i'm writing a song about chickens now Eric Cartman: WHAT?! I'll kick that chicken square in the nuts ------------------ If you can't live with 'em, cuss 'em out |
| Ensoul Member |
posted 06-08-99 06:27 PM
My father: Did I tell you to stop piling wood?! Stop blabering about chickens! My Brother: *sarcastically* Duh, I don't know? (he's a real smart ass when I'm trying to tell a joke) Yoda: Becauase he did not try, He only did. Hmmm, yes. Maybe I'll think of others... ------------------ |
| Vettrap Member |
posted 06-09-99 05:54 AM
Darth Vader: It was his destiny... Austin Powers: To get to the groovy, smashing other side baby, yeah! Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for chickens, and one giant road for chicken-kind. Jennifer Love Hewitt: Chickens are cute!! Oh, and Cory, although that joke was inappropriate, I do find it funny.
But only because I know what movie that line is from. And that is one of
my favorite movies.
[This message has been edited by Vettrap (edited 06-09-99).] |
| Bagman333 Member |
posted 06-09-99 03:47 PM
Oh man those are grand! I
especially like Jack Nicholson's and Seinfeld's. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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| Bagman333 Member |
posted 06-09-99 04:00 PM
Oh man those are grand! I
especially like Jack Nicholson's and Seinfeld's. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
|
| JamSBK2 Member |
posted 06-09-99 04:20 PM
Master P: Whatz dat G funk chick be doin' crossin' da road? Samuel L Jackson: Alright! time to kick some mother****ing chicken ass! that's ****ing chicken gonna die mother****er Danny: Mesa think dat chicken crossa da roadsa because of dat terribbble Dartha Maula, How wude! Bill Clinton: Well, the chicken crossed the road because of uh....oh...easy on the di...rk...down...there....hehe....um.... ------------------ If you can't live with 'em, cuss 'em out |
| jacko Junior Member |
posted 06-09-99 05:44 PM
THe sky turns to red and the fields turn to fire, THE CHICKENS!,CAN'T YOU SEE THE CHICKENS!! ------------------ |
| Lakitu7 Member |
posted 06-09-99 05:51 PM
lmao! Im saving this page to my drive so I still have it when its gone. Keep up the good work. Jerry Farwell: That chicken was carrying a bag. It must be homosexual! Censors! Barney the Dinosaur: Because it was a super-de-doodle-de thing to do. Everyone and everything is special. I love chickens! Lets say hi to our chicken friends! This reminds me of a song. Old Mc.Donnald had a farm.......
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