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Happy Valentine's Day!
And welcome to the Valentine's Day edition of BF.N where I compress one year's
worth of teen romance angst in one day! It's an update with rants, raves,
and links about life, love and geeks. Enjoy.
First I should mention that I did this last year on Single's Awareness Day as
well. You may remember it if you've been reading a while, and I got quite a few
comments on it. Most of the stuff in that update is still pertanient today, and
some of the articles, especially Why Geeks
Make the Best Boyfriends and very especially "I just Want To Be
Friends" are definitly worth a read if you haven't seen them already. And
yep, still doing most of the "Do's" on the "Do's and Don'ts of Cultivating and
Maintaining a Platonic Friendship with a Woman You Would Otherwise Want To Have
a Relationship With and Quite Possibly Marry." I love that title :)
First up this year is "nice guys" and why girls (supposedly) don't like them.
As a semi-famous article that's made it's rounds about
the net suggests, maybe Nice Guys
are Losers. There is some valid points in there I do have to agree with,
but I think someone was just bitter. There seems to be a thin line between confidence and
arrogance. Finally there is yet another article on yet another piece nice guy
not getting girls. It's a conspiracy I tell you! Who wouldn't want a sensitive boy?
Given all that, (most) people want nice people. It's just a matter of what you
consider "nice". Girls complain that they can't find nice guys, when they're
actually all over the place. But you won't find them hitting on you half drunk
in a bar (well not to say that it's impossible, just not likely). Join some
clubs, and get involved in something, and that's where you'll find the nice
people. Watch how someone treats other people, it shows a lot about a person.
And if the girl you have your heart set on does indeed go after the jerk, then
doesn't that say something about the girl? Do you really want to date they type
of person who would go after a jerk? Course, as I read in the paper the other
day, girls tend to date different types of people every time, and the person
they end up marrying is usually nothing like any of their previous boyfriends.
Men go for the same type everytime.
Next I have to point out a GREAT series of
3 articles on Why
Girls Actually Want Geeks, then Why it usually
doesn't happen, and finally the pitfalls of dating a nerd (which I can admit there is a lot of
truth to). Very interesting set of articles though. Still not convinced that
geek guys make for great relationships? 15+ reasons why geek guys
are "not so bad at all". And as a self-described geek, yep, it's all true. Of
course, some people just aren't right for the geek lifestyle, as these girls found
out, but hey, whatever floats their boat :) Lucky for them there's a
list of How To Lose
A Geek in 10 Seconds. The root password one is particulary hillarious :)
Some girls definitly appriciate
the geek though.
This brings me to a subject that I've noticed somewhat, in people trying to
become what they think girls/guys want them to be instead of who they are. Is a
lie anything that a good relationship should be based on? Sure for a
one-night-stand (if that's your thing) go for it cause there is no relationship,
but for pete's sake don't try to change yourself to attract some girl or guy you
like. If she/he doesnt' like you for you, then it just wasn't meant to be. It's
pretty much doomed to fail eventually, as sooner or later you'll get tired of
the charade and once the person discovers the "real" you then it'll be over.
That's why I am unabashedly nerdy, because if a someone can't like me for having
a passion for computers or nerdy/geeky stuff, then it just wasn't meant to be.
Not to say that's all I ever talk about or get involved in (as my friends can
attest) but I'm not going to pretend that side of me doesn't exist to impress
some girl.
There's also the ever dreaded I Just Like You As A
Friend thing. Now of course I relieze that there are just some friends that
are undateable or you're just not attracted to them in that way for various
reasons no matter how great they are (like I myself have several friends who are
incredible girls, but I have no interest in dating), and you can't "make"
someone like you (learned that one the hard way). But it seems like friendship
is the best way to find someone that you're really compatible with, rather than
obsess over some random hot girl/guy at the mall that you've spoken 5 words to
("Number one with cheese please"). One would think you should have to get to get
to know a person fairly well before you can truly like them (hence why I do not
believe in love at first sight, just lust at first sight), but then what do I
know.
*Standard disclaimer applies to the previous paragraph*. I'm perfectly happy
with being "just friends" with my female acquitances. It's just those very few
who you think have possibilities that cause all the angst. Oh, and a good
tip for anyone who wants to get across non-interest to someone who may be
interested in them: Just talk about some other guy/girl (they don't even have
to be real, just make someone up) in the romantic sense. Gets the point across
nicely and without embarrassment on either side. Just for the love of God don't
go into detail on how great/nice/funny/smart/etc this person is, particulary if
you've used any of those adjectives to describe the aforementioned liker. Then
it's just cruel.
Moving on, The Ladder Master
Theory Page is an interesting idea on how men and women rank each other on
their respective ladders. It explains the phenomenon of ladder jumping, ladder
disparity, and other related phenomenon. Very interesting theory.
But perhaps you don't want a relationship, perhaps you just
want some random girl for a "night-o-fun". Don't have a Valentine yet? Never
fear, let the people at alt.seduction.fast help you
pickup women. Interesting tactics, and the scary thing thing is that some girls
actually fall for them.
If however you want some substance, then some
tips on How to be Romantic would be
useful. One of the suggestions is pet names, which if you're having trouble
coming up with one, try the Pet Name
Generator for ideas. Particulary fun for teasing your friend
with, as everything sounds funnier when "snugglyhoneybear" says it, as shown in
this AIM conversation (edited version):
(15:12:13) Me: Hmmm, a good pet name would be Snuggly Honey Bear....
(15:13:07) Me: heh, I'm gonna change your name to that in AIM
(15:14:20) Snuggly Honey Bear: no
(15:14:34) Me: (15:14:20) Snuggly Honey Bear: no
(15:14:36) Me: haha
(15:14:39) Me: this is awesome
(15:14:47) Snuggly Honey Bear: shut up
(15:14:55) Snuggly Honey Bear: (expletive deleted)
(15:15:45) Me: I don't think snugglyhoneybear should say those naughty words
(15:15:51) Me: it's not snugglyhoneybearish
:)
Futurama's had some good quotes relevent to today, quoted here for your reading
pleasure (both said by Fry):
"What? Valentine's Day is coming up?!?! Crap! I
forgot to get a girlfriend again"
"Well she was in love with the part of me
that's a slob. I was in love with her with the part of me that's
desperate."
Have a date for Valentine's but don't know what to do? Never fear, let old 50's
educational movies
guide you. From what do to on a date, Do's and Don't of
Dating and Beginning
Dating to Going Steady
and How do you
Know It's Love, cheesy acting and horrible plots can show you the way. No
wonder all those people in the late 60's were so messed up.
Finally a fictional but sure-it-happens-in-real-life heartstring
tugging account of why you should always tell someone how you feel (which no longer exists).
Not that I follow that advice at all of course, but it's a nice story
for Valentine's Day.
So that's the V-Day update for this year, which I believe fills my blog quota
of girl/love/romance-related postings for the year. Now back to
not-updating....
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